How Did I Get Here

Me in 1996

I've been decluttering my guest room closet this past week and have uncovered some treasures, some junk, and some just why do I have this type of stuff. One thing I came across was a suitcase full of photos from the past 20 years or so. I can't believe it's been that long ago when I really started collecting and taking these photos. 

I've long had desires of putting them in photo albums in some sort or another, but time got away from me, and so have the names of a lot of the people in those photos. I know where most of them were
taken, as they are mostly from my tenure as a member of a singles group called Jericho Road Ministries, or JRM as it was called. It was an era in my life that I will always remember and cherish. It is where I found who I was(am) and my faith in God. In other words, it was a very important time in my life.

While looking over the photos I noticed one thing: I was fit. I was also active. I had a figure I'd kill for today. There was always something going on each weekend, and several nights in the week. I was too busy to overeat. And too busy not to be sedentary. 

So, what happened? How did I get here? Well, for one, the group was dissolved by the host church (something I still resent to this day). The other was that my friendships have dispersed across this great land. And finally, I lost myself. 

Somehow, somewhere, in some way, I've totally lost perspective on who I was in God's eyes. With that came depression, guilt, fear, and emotional eating. I also ran away at one point, thinking that I could run away from the problems I was facing. Truth is, you can't run away from them...they will always find and haunt you until you face them dead on.

So, how do I get away from here? One is to regain myself as a child of God. Another is to find and outlet where I can meet new people and make friends. I could also do what I can to reach out to the friends I do have. And finally, seek help in dealing with emotional eating head on. I believe by getting active again, I will once again find peace in being physically/emotionally/spiritually fit. 

It is not an easy journey, nor will it happen over night. I just need to do what I can to refocus my energies into the right direction. And to me right now, that would be in God's direction.