My life has yet again been turned up on end, but this time not due to anything I personally did on my own. I wasn't the one at fault. No, it was just a fate thing. I just keep shaking my head on this one, and keep telling myself to keep on moving.
But what now?
Well, I decided that instead of decluttering my home, I would do something different. I decided to declutter my mind. It is not as easy as it sounds, because I really haven't put it all into perspective, yet, and I'm still working out all of the details. In fact, I'm still kind of working on the blueprints.
But first things first. And don't laugh at me for this one, because it may seem silly, but I decided to do something a little extreme.
You see, the first thing I did was sit down and evaluate everything that has happened over the past few months, and to be honest, nothing pretty has happened. And when I looked back, nothing was within my control: the slip and fall on the ice, the car accident, the loss of my grandmother, fainting at work (and subsequently getting injured), contracting pneumonia, and eventually losing my job. It was all continual blow after blow. But the one thing that never happened was that I never became overly depressed. My heart hurt beyond anything when I lost my grandmother, but I never sank into a deep depression. My injuries sidelined me, but I never let it get the best of me. The pneumonia really tried to break me, but I kept on fighting (a little too hard in the end).
What came to mind after doing my evaluation was that maybe there was maybe something much darker and more sinister at hand. Yes, my mind went there, and for a more valid reason. I mean, I am a spiritual and believing woman of God, so of course I would think of that first. So, I sat down and did some reading, research, and prayer. What happened next truly surprised me. I actually felt an overwhelming amount of relief. Maybe there was some sort of spiritual hold on me. Maybe there was something a bit more sinister at work. And I'll continue to work on that by remaining more steadfast from here on out.
But that isn't the only thing. I've let things slide in my life. One thing I've noticed is that I've let things that I enjoyed slide, like my love of reading. So, I downloaded a fiction book I enjoyed awhile back onto my iPad to get back into reading again. And I am thankful that I did. It was one that had a lot of imagery for the mind to imagine, so it was fun to read again. Plus, it took me away from the laptop and get me off of Facebook.
Facebook. I am losing my love of it. In fact, I'm becoming more cynical about it anymore, and I'm spending less time. In fact, I'm noticing that I'm happier when I'm not on it. But I need it for one of my side gigs and managing my two blogs (the other is Beautifully Cracked: My Bipolar Life). My original intention with Facebook was to catch up and keep into touch with my friends and family. With today's climate, it brings too much stress and headaches to really mess with too much. In fact, too many agree with this statement anymore: Social media is unhealthy.
I mentioned another blog. Yes, I have another blog and it is much different than this one. It is much more serious in nature and not as much fun as this one, but it is cathartic and about a topic I need to explore and reach out about, and possibly help other who have it. I've gained attention already from it in a very short amount of time, which surprised me a great deal, considering how long it took me to get this one to where it is today. But since starting that blog, it has opened me up to new possibilities for my future and a new thought process. It has put something in the back of my mind that is lingering and that may need to be explored further. That may be another blog on another day.
But for now. It is midnight on a Monday night. I need rest. And need to declutter more that is in this mind. This is just a thought, and like the title states, I have a headache from it.
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