Every Now and Then: Courage To Do Better

A lot of my thoughts lately have been centering around the clutter of the mind and body. Not that of what lies around us; although, it does tie together in the endgame. But trying to gain ground on ourselves first, helps us to gain ground on our surroundings second. 

That's my goal at the moment. And it seems to be working.

Since October 2016, I've been fighting a debilitating injury that affected every area of my life, and resulted in the deterioration of things I held dear. It's amazing how fragile our lives are when something as simple as a fall can happen. But that is all changing.

In February 2018, I finally chose the right path to healing, and within a month, I had regained a lot of ability to just "do". So much so, that not only my physical abilities were returned, but mental and emotional clarity were returned, as well. It was as if I received a spiritual awakening.

My life is still a mess, but it is a work in progress with a light at the end of the tunnel that is getting bigger and bigger each step of the way. I'm walking longer distances without back pain. I'm able to work without anxiety taking over. I'm able to participate in life without fear of rejection. I'm just able to do. And I'm enjoying it. 

Don't get me wrong, I still have my moments. I fell while on a business trip, and while my ankle doesn't hurt and I'm not relegated to crutches again, it is injured enough to temporarily sideline me from going long distances. But I am not out for the count like I was before. 

The photo above is from a huge milestone. I was able to walk along the Santa Monica Beach without any trouble. I kicked off my shoes to feel the sand on my feet, and by the time I was done, the only thing that hurt were my legs from not being used to walking in sand. Not my back, which had been the source of contention for so long. In fact, the entire trip to Los Angeles was a huge praise in that I was pain free the entire time. I felt so alive during that trip. I fell in love with myself again.

I still have a ways to go. I have a lot of body clutter that was gained from the injury (way too much of it), so that is my next goal. I've been thinking seriously about trying to work my way up to being able to swim for long periods of time again, and maybe look into an adult swim club to possibly swim competitively once again. 

That is the key right now: Goals. I'm setting goals. Now huge, grand goals, but small ones. Attainable ones. Things that I can slowly work toward. Like lose 1 to 2 lbs per week. Lose a dress size every 3 months. Work my way back down. Not all at once. Get my jewelry business back on track one customer at a time. Get my finances back on track one bill at a time (thanks, Dave Ramsey). 

I just want to be a healthy woman. And I don't mean that just physically, but in all aspects in my life. I know that there are always going to be obstacles, hiccups, and sideswipes, but those are expected. I just want to be better prepared next time.