But unlike my friend, this blog isn't going to touch on those who's homes match that of my friend's, but those who match more like all of ours. Those that we look in closets and closet them because they have items that we know we need to purge, but just close them off, as we keep thinking we don't have the time, or stomach, to tackle them.
But do we?
Here's the motivation. When a loved one passes away, we have to tackle that closet at some point. Or when we pass away, one of our loved ones have to tackle that closet. I keep looking at my dad's garage in absolute horror at the thought that one day that my brothers and I will have to go through its contents. I don't want to, and I have been open and honest about my fear about that thought of that day. It haunts me.
When my grandparents moved from their longtime home of over 30 years into a condo, then from their condo of over 10 years into an assisted living apartment, then their passing away within the following years, the moving and purging process in all three instances was not easy. I'd say the second move was the hardest, despite the final parting after their passing.
Their is too much pain and heartache having to go through a loved one's things after their passing. It depends too much on the relationship one has with the loved one. It can create a hoarding with the individual who is doing the purging, by them hoarding everything (including items that are broken and actually should be thrown away) in the home, thus doubling the problem within their own homes.
I would highly suggest (from my own experiences), that individuals seek professional counseling during the grieving process and the purging and clearing process of their loved one's home after their passing, or even before, if they are being moved to an assisted living facility, like my grandparents were.
The reason I say this is that it will help quiet the mind and heart, and keep a level head during the process. When I returned home after spending the day at my grandparents, I found that my trunk had been filled with a lot more than what I had anticipated, but with items it never should have been filled with. It allowed me to go through the items with a level head and discern properly what should be kept and what should be separated. It gave me clarity. It really helps.
I know we want to hold on to every single piece of memory, but we have to be smart about it. I have every piece of memory I need of my grandparents right now, and I cherish them each and everyday that I look upon them. And they are where I can see and touch them daily. Even items from my great-grandmother, who passed in the early 90's.
I write this as I face the one year anniversary of my dearest grandmother's passing tomorrow, November 14th. I want to remember her in the best way possible, and I think I've done a very good job at that.