A New Direction: Finding Love in Myself

The last few years have been hard for me (and on me). In fact, in the whole process, I've completely lost a complete sense of who I actually am, or who I am supposed to be. In actuality, I fell out of love with myself, and it was obvious. While in reality, I did care, it looked like I didn't. But I completely forgot how to care. I lost my way and it was time to go search for myself.

This blog, Living Simply Sassy Classy, was born in my search for a more simple lifestyle over 7 years ago; however, I don't think I ever really found it. So, my focus on this blog is taking a major shift to focus on what it takes to find one's self. Especially for those of us who have suddenly found ourselves in middle age and completely at a loss at how we got here. This change of direction will still incorporate a lot of what I've already talked about in past posts, but will start to do more soul searching, as well. Something I know I need and I've heard others talk about how, they need, in turn. 

So, what will this entail? To be honest, I really don't know. All I know is that this is needed. For one, I need to start with my health, both physical and mental. And even maybe a bit emotional health, as well. I found myself teetering way too close to 300 lbs recently and had considered weight loss surgery as an answer; however, a recent change in career and insurance landed me with a policy that excludes that type of procedure. In fact, it excludes anything dealing with morbid obesity, something that boggles my mind, when if dealt with will actually save money in the long run. 

For now, I've rejoined Weight Watchers, considering the Mediterreanean Diet, looking into a gym membership down the street (they have a pool with aqua fit classes), and overall lifestyle changes. I'm even looking into acupuncture for pain management. 

One thing that I do want to bring up is that people are quick to give advice to those looking to change. Especially if they are morbidly obese. I had someone say "start walking". Well, my new job has me walking a whole lot more than I was before. Like adding in a whole additional mile to my day, plus more. I'd say that was already taken care of. But the thing is, when you are morbidly obese, movement is painful. Very painful. Telling someone to just do is not as easy as it sounds, which is why I mentioned the gym with the pool above. People who are morbidly obese don't need the cookie cutter answers, they have to do things differently. Like, a 1200 calorie diet will actually be detrimental to them, while simply reducing their daily intake by 500 calories is actually what they need to do. And movement? That aqua fit class is perfect, as it creates a sense of weightlessness, while also adding in resistance to the water. It's a perfect combination.

One thing I'd like to add to when it comes to being morbidly obese and losing weight is that I've already done a lot of research on the subject of weight loss, cried a ton of tears, and had a lot of triumphs and failures. Especially since I'm over 50, I'm pretty sure I'm not new to the subject. The only thing I do have confidence in is that I don't want to be like this, and it wasn't a conscience choice to get here.